Anger – Loses his cool and looks like a fool
I recently witnessed a scene in a shopping center parking lot that had a lasting effect on me: two middle-aged women were arguing over a parking space. They were both standing next to their cars and yelling at each other while waving their arms threateningly. The argument eventually turned into a name-calling contest, with each trying to one-up the other. The sad thing was that the store was not occupied and there were many empty spaces available. Their discussion got so heated that other shoppers started stopping to watch the show. Meanwhile, the women’s children sat in their cars and watched the entire scene. How proud those children must be!
The fact is that everyone gets angry. Whether it’s a family member, a co-worker, or the stranger who took our parking spot, we all get angry. The problem with getting angry is that there is only a small chance that it will solve the problem, but there is a much greater chance that it will create new ones.
Anger is really us losing control and when we lose control bad things usually happen. At home it can mean a damaged relationship, in public it can mean a confrontation with a stranger, and at work it can mean getting fired or passed over for a promotion. Samaria Maxamus said, “Anger itself does more harm than the condition that caused it.” If you can’t remember that, try: Anger is only 1 letter away from danger!
Let’s be honest here, like the two women in the parking lot, most of us can look and act pretty silly when we’re angry, usually saying and doing things we’ll later regret. Getting angry is a lot like being drunk, the intoxicated person is the only one who doesn’t realize they have a problem.
What makes anger so dangerous is that it can happen so quickly that we lose control before we know it. The only way to minimize the damage is to regain control.
Before we can begin to decrease our anger, we first have to understand what causes anger. There’s really only one reason we get angry and that’s because someone didn’t act the way we wanted them to. Interesting, right? Anger is not an action, but how we respond to another’s action. Getting angry is letting someone else control you.
When was the last time something good came out of you making you angry? Benjamin Franklin said, “Everything that begins in anger ends in shame.” The next time you get angry, try taking a moment to ask yourself these questions: Is it really worth winning this argument to ruin the relationship? How important will this be in a year? Within a month? A day or even an hour from now?
The moment you regain control you will lose your anger. Don’t let someone else control how you feel.
Who really suffers when you get angry? The Buddha said, “Holding on to anger is like holding on to a red-hot coal, you are the only one who will burn.”
Why is it that when we hurt ourselves physically we learn not to do it again, but when we hurt ourselves emotionally we repeat the same action over and over again? No one benefits from anger.
The best way to end an argument is to bite your tongue. That’s not admitting guilt, it’s anger management. Take back control. Also, even if you win the argument, you won’t be able to enjoy the present if you’re angry about the past.