How to Minimize Self-Imposed Isolation in Claims and Losses

You can reduce unnecessary suffering during grief by limiting the time you isolate yourself, either knowingly or unknowingly. Self-imposed isolation is a common response to the death of a loved one. Although some alone time is necessary during all grievance work, mourners all too often withdraw and cause additional pain and suffering.

For starters, grief itself is an isolating emotion because depression, guilt, and anger—common reactions to the loss of a loved one—tend to reduce interaction with others, and many potential well-wishers don’t know how to respond. . . Isolation complicates and lengthens the healing process.

Whether you’re mourning the death of a loved one or providing support to a grieving person, here are eight ways to move forward with the devastating toll isolation takes on emotional disposition and energy levels.

1. Find a whining partner. Find someone who has suffered a similar loss. It could be another widow or widower. Perhaps another mother who has lost a child or a person who has suffered the death of a sibling. It can be especially helpful if the person is a few months ahead of you in the complaint process. Share your feelings. Having someone close by with similar feelings ensures that they understand you better. Make a pact to phone each other at specific times, day or night.

2. Make the expression of emotions a priority. Suppressing emotions is a sure way to increase the intensity of pain and lead to depression. Suppressed anger is especially unhealthy and can be controlled. The first step is to own it and tell a confidante about it. We are built to allow emotions to flow through us and express themselves to relieve the anxiety and physical tension they cause. If you have negative feelings, bring them out into the light of day with your friend.

3. Use daily meditation for twenty minutes. There are numerous forms of meditation. Choose one that you are comfortable with. It will increase your awareness of your surroundings, help you transcend your pain, and strengthen your inner life. A common meditation is to simply choose a pleasant word (peace, love, calm, etc.) and slowly repeat it each time you exhale.

4. Start your own altruistic program. A universal way to cope with great loss and change is to become a wounded healer and help others while you are still grieving. There are people everywhere who can use the help of another. Look in your community or for organizations that need volunteers. Your participation will force you to communicate. It will lift your spirits and improve your self-esteem, and you will make the world a better place.

5. Join a complaint support group. This is a great way to reduce isolation by being with others who are dealing with loss. In all my experience with bereavement support groups, as the meetings progress, strong friendships are formed and a lot of insight is gained from others.

6. Use massages. Often a major loss brings with it a feeling of being alone. I have heard many bereaved people tell me how comforting it was to have a professional massage. The relaxation that is induced and the awareness of feeling comfort was a welcome break from the pain of loss.

7. Strengthen your ties with your Higher Power. There is a growing amount of research pointing to the health benefits of spiritual/religious involvement. Believe that you are never alone and that your Higher Power knows what you are going through and is there for you to talk to. Say what’s wrong with you inside. This connection is a powerful force to help you get through the toughest of times.

8. Grow in your capacity to love. The eternal love connection with your Higher Power and the deceased is part of the path through isolation and loneliness. You can still show love to the deceased by learning to love in separation and by living the values ​​you acquired through your association with him/her.

All strong connections are based on the power of love. Your mission in life, something we all need, will be enhanced by your ability to grow in love. As she grows older, her pain and isolation will fade, and she will see life and death through a lens she never thought could be so beautiful.

Reducing isolation when we are hurt and in pain is not an easy thing to do. However, doing what we don’t like to do at the time it needs to be done is an absolute and indispensable life skill. It will be useful for the rest of your life, not just during the bereavement. Start today with one of the above with the firm intention of reducing isolation and reinvesting in life.