A passive aggressive husband needs a special kind of wife.

Passive aggressive behavior does not occur in a vacuum; requires a suitable partner to play the game. This interaction is created between two people: one person who resists closeness and responsibility, and the other who accepts too much frustration to feel even a modicum of “love,” “acceptance,” or “companionship.”

How is this dynamic recorded in the girl’s mind? She learns this pattern in her childhood by watching her parents, of course!

A woman’s need to choose and stay with a passive-aggressive partner is a dynamic that is set up in her childhood. One parent withdraws and frustrates the other spouse, who in turn becomes increasingly angry and resentful. As she grows older, a woman unconsciously chooses men who will reproduce the familiar patterns of withdrawal and attack from her childhood.

She falls in love with the man’s charm, his sweet need and quick search for union (he speaks of marriage in the first month of courtship) and ignores his true lack of connection with others. It would be easy to ask, “why doesn’t she have friends around her?” But it is too painful to come to one conclusion: that she is conditioned to seek out people more damaged than she is, in order to “help” them.

If the man’s cycle of hostility and withdrawal behavior is not challenged, the woman begins to doubt herself. Her failures become her failures, and she feels that she is not doing enough to make him happy. The more she works on the relationship, the deeper his need to escape and avoid her becomes.

Your life is continually out of balance as you navigate inconsistencies in daily connection events. As much as he feels threatened and insecure, he withdraws; this leaves her alone and he gets angry at her.

The angrier she gets with him, he has to retreat to his cave and the unresolved conflict boomerangs between them. They lock themselves in their own needs, they don’t express them enough, but they act accordingly. He won’t show her anger at chasing her, but she will do many small acts of revenge that will drive her crazier.

Living with the passive-aggressive man pushes the woman to frustration and anger as the main dynamic in the daily conflict. When she fails to meet her needs, she becomes the person who may blame him intensely or have a fit of rage, causing the man to confirm her worst fears and feel very insecure in the relationship.

She gets on an emotional roller coaster, as she is always stuck expecting more from her man: more commitment, more cooperation, more attention and love, and more doing what he says he will do, as a sign that he really loves her.

With continual cycles of this dynamic, your self-esteem becomes more and more eroded as your frustration and anger turn into rage; she came to feel alone and more abandoned than she did when she was single.

To avoid repeating the choice of passive-aggressive men in several successive relationships in her future, she needs to learn a better way to react to his passive aggression in a way that teaches him what she needs and what the limits are to her procrastination. and sabotage. are.

In short, you need to remember that you are now an adult and you can limit the harm that other people can do to you in various active ways, from saying STOP! until you set your own limits or walk away.