How can I save my marriage? This is how you can fix things!

Feelings of unhappiness, infatuation with another person, mutual irritation, loneliness, and ingrained patterns; these may come to the fore at a certain phase of your marriage. Signs that may indicate that passion has largely disappeared from your marriage. Children, work, hobbies or other matters take up more and more time and attention and make you no longer have time for your relationship.

But what do you do about it? How can you save your marriage? Read our tips here!

1. Talk about your needs

The success of a marriage depends on the needs of two people being met. Therefore, it is important to find out where the needs of the other are.

What behavior of the other person bothers you, and what behavior do you appreciate but don’t see enough of? These are things to think about and discuss together.

2. Emotional inaccessibility

Many people have unknowingly built emotional walls that prevent them from becoming truly close to friends or family. Some people also wear a social mask, also a protective measure that you often don’t do well.

This can result in them being completely alienated from each other, even though they have been married for years. If you want to get closer to your partner again, you will have to build mutual trust and open up to the other. This applies to both you and your partner.

3. Deal with your past problems

Many marriages are doomed to fail because of the emotional baggage that comes with it from past disappointments. He acknowledges that personal barriers from the past may be the main reason why you or your partner never dare to fully expose yourself to each other.

Sometimes it is a lack of trust that originated in the past and that the person continues in the current marriage, sometimes a history of attachment fear and failed relationships preceded the current problems. Try to deal with these problems and help each other with this.

4. Do not neglect the other

Never think that the other is some kind of piece of furniture, that you can safely let your marriage slide by and that expressions of love are not needed in your marriage. Your partner doesn’t know you love them if you don’t tell them. It is the intention that from time to time you show that you really care about others.

That’s in very small things, like calling during work just to say hi. Prepare your partner’s favorite food yourself or buy him something that he loves so much. That is what makes their relationship special and without these things, they start to neglect each other.

5. Do not hide anything

People who have nothing to hide are honest. Lying, hiding, manipulating and cheating are not the things you want to happen in your marriage. No person is one hundred percent open, but at least you can start. So always try to be an open book to your partner and make sure he or she knows you well.

6. You don’t always want to be right

Try not to frequently show that you know more than your spouse. Instead, he can try to understand and empathize with his partner. By deciding to be happy from now on instead of right, you become so much more pleasant to deal with. Not just for your partner, but for everyone around you. You’ll also be more able to have a discussion that doesn’t end in a fight.

7. If your partner does not want to cooperate

Tell your husband or wife your resistance or your fears, let them realize that the two of you can achieve much more when you work together. In case your spouse notices that he is stubbornly doing things constantly, he will automatically stop doing it.

8. Marriage requires sacrifice

As in any friendship or relationship, a successful marriage requires sacrifice. Two different people come together, children are added and then living together under one roof is not always easy.

So don’t be so unrealistic that you think that disagreement is a sign on the wall or that you weren’t meant for each other if things went wrong. Don’t get lost in trendy divorce grounds like “We’re tired of each other” and “We’re slowly drifting apart.” A marriage requires responsibility. Take it then.

In shorts

Your marriage can probably be saved, as long as you both open up to it. Recognize the problems you have and get going. And most importantly: do this together. Seek help if necessary. You can do it. You just have to find each other again. That’s hard, but you did it once; then you can really do it again.