How to get others to do what you want in three easy steps

Being able to persuade and influence people is a powerful skill. You can earn more money, get more dates and be more effective in your daily life. Because he is reading this article, he will soon be persuading others as a Jedi.

To start, you want to develop a report. Rapport is that feeling you get when you feel really connected to someone. As if you have known this person all your life. Maybe if you’ve seen someone you thought was a stranger, who later turned out to be an old friend from third grade, you know what I’m talking about.

This is quite easy to do. Salespeople do it all the time. Simply match your target’s physical behavior as closely as possible. Body language, how they sit or stand, how fast they speak, even the words they use. If they cross their legs, you do the same. This works great while sitting in a meeting at work.

Once you have established your connection to their world, it is time to get your criteria or trance words. These are the words that are below the answers they usually give about what is important to them. What’s so important about going to Hawaii? I want to relax with my family. What is important about relaxing with your family? We really improve our relationships. What’s important about that? We can share our lives. Of course, sprinkle these questions during the conversation. Don’t shoot them off quickly like a law and order police interrogation.

The next thing is to show them that by doing what you want (your intention or your result) they will achieve your criteria. If your criteria is “share with family,” you can show them how buying your product can improve their family relationships.

It’s a good idea to think of three or four ways to express or describe your result, so they don’t think anything is fishy. Slowly link your criteria to your different descriptions of your outcome throughout the conversation.

A great method to do this is to tell stories. Think of a story where someone (who is like the person you are talking to) was able to meet your criteria by doing what you want them to do. For example, your uncle was thinking of buying a Jeep (if you sell Jeeps, for example) and his family really liked it, and they spent a lot of extra time together because they went camping more often.

So there it is, in three easy steps. Create a relationship, get criteria, and connect your criteria to your result. It will seem awkward and unnatural at first, but the more you do it, the better you’ll get.