Laws of Power for Women: Protect Your Reputation
I’m a fan of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power. It’s too bad I didn’t find this book when I was in college. I think things would have been very different for me if I had.
Although I don’t follow all the laws laid out in the book (because most of them could make you a slimy, deceptive type of person), some of them speak directly to women. And if we’re going to have a serious talk about empowering women, this is a good place to start.
I think young women from 18 should read more about the laws of power. They should at least understand them. Especially those girls who are going to enter the real world or the corporate world at some point in the future. If you are not at least aware of the power games that are developing around you, you are more likely to be a victim of them.
Not to mention, straight girls 18 and over are in “the snake pit.” Many are very vulnerable to meeting the wrong men who just want to use and abuse a naive young woman.
Even women over 40 can benefit from learning the laws of power. But for now, in this series, I’m just going to point out some of the laws that I think women of all ages should be aware of as soon as possible. Some of this may seem obvious, but many women don’t act like they know!
Greene’s Fifth Law is “It depends a lot on reputation: protect it with your life.”
The reputation of a woman
Your reputation as a woman precedes you. In some cases, it follows you as well. If you run in one or more closed social circles, you will face this law a lot.
For example, some men will only talk to a woman within their social circle because they have heard that it is easy. So while that girl thinks “yeah, he’s so into me”, he’s really plotting and making a measured bet that he’ll soon have sex based on what he knows of his reputation.
So if you’ve ever seen a girl who has a bad reputation or who isn’t particularly attractive and who somehow gets all of the boys’ attention, don’t envy her. Too bad about her. She may just be a target. It is an unhappy and powerless situation to be in.
The type of men who will approach you generally depends as much on your reputation as on how you present yourself as a woman. If your reputation is that of a confident, intelligent, and respectable lady, the Jersey Shore type of idiot will probably be a long way off.
And even with strangers or people you’ve just met, you’re airing your reputation, whether you want to or not. For example, let’s talk about sleeping with a man on the first or second date.
Come on girls, we have to be realistic here. Men are not usually deep thinkers when it comes to women; they don’t feel any special connection to you after one or two dates. Stop watching romantic comedies that sell you a little about “love at first sight.” It’s false.
So if you sleep with a guy on the first or second date, don’t be surprised or hurt when he treats you like a whore or an afterthought. If you drink like a fish when you’re in a bar, don’t be surprised when someone you put there treats you accordingly. It doesn’t matter how good you look or how good a woman you think you are.
Also, keep in mind that the places where you spend most of your time and the company you keep can affect your reputation, either positively or negatively.
Female reputation
So, as a woman, what are your top reputation concerns?
You may have your own opinions, but I’ll start with three big ones: sexual promiscuity, bad attitude Y lying.
Sex
Sexual promiscuity is a big issue. The recent Slutwalk campaign is an example of that. But although I am 100% willing to promote the empowerment of women, I am aware and realistic about the differences between women and men.
On the one hand, women are the recipients of the sexual act. Women are naturally more susceptible to a number of downsides when it comes to exaggerating sex, such as pregnancy and health problems. Therefore, avoiding promiscuity is not only crucial to your reputation, but also to your overall health and well-being.
Also, why, as a woman, would you want to emulate the hoish behavior of a man? Rise above the nonsense. Rise up Don’t sleep with everyone you meet as a way to show that you are a gamer or “just like a man.”
Attitude
Your attitude as a woman is also a big part of your reputation. In some places, like the office, having a little attitude can help avoid being treated like a doormat. But when it comes to personal relationships, your attitude should be somewhere in the middle, not too nice and not too bad.
One of the characters in my book is a girl who breaks balls. Now, while people surely don’t mess with her, and she’s managed to find a weak-minded man to oppress, she just can’t last. No one can stand a person who always has a bad and unpleasant attitude. Eventually word gets out and people will start avoiding that woman at all costs.
On the other hand, you don’t want a reputation for easy prey. You can’t be powerful as a woman if you always allow people to trample you and get away with it, especially men.
In my opinion, the best reputation for a woman (or anyone else) is one where people say “that girl is so cool and laid back … she’s fun to be around … but hey don’t mess with her . “
Lying
I don’t think I can think of anything more damaging to a reputation than someone who lies pathologically. When you lie so much that no one knows if you are telling the truth, that is a major problem. As a powerful woman, others need to know that you are honest and trustworthy; This is important whether you are at the office, in a relationship, or building a female friendship.
Attacks on your reputation
As a woman, when you have an enemy, be it a competitive woman or a vengeful man, what is the first thing they will try to attack to bring you down? Your reputation
Again, that’s because your reputation is a source of power. This is why people who don’t like you or want to put you down a bit will start spreading rumors or gossip. Don’t give them firewood and keep your business private as private as possible. Also, don’t become a woman known for attacking the reputations of others, mind your own business.
Build and maintain a positive reputation
So, to summarize quickly, what are the most important elements in building a strong positive reputation?
1. Treat your body like a temple
2. Treat and consider others with respect
3. Handle difficult situations with grace and intelligence instead of being reactionary
4. Be loyal and trustworthy with the people who love you.
5. Work hard and smart in everything you do
Start with this list and then build from there.
Handle a dirty reputation
What do you do when your reputation is already tarnished? That is a difficult question. I can only offer an opinion on this matter.
On the one hand, I think it is important to acknowledge the situation (if it is true). Don’t try to lie or cover up the truth because it only makes you appear more misleading. If you’ve jumped from bed to bed in the past, don’t try to pretend you’ve always been a saint. I think the more a woman denies something that is obviously true, the more it persists and grows. Acknowledge and deal with it, even if you only do it with your narrowest circle of friends.
You can also use a negative as a springboard to something positive. For example, many motivational speakers have questionable pasts, but use the story to help others.
Start rebuilding your reputation immediately by living your life in a healthy, positive, wise, respectable, and balanced way. Consult a trusted therapist for advice. Read books to gain knowledge and take time to explore who you really are as a person or who you want to be. Yes, it sounds a bit hackneyed and cheesy, but it’s true. You can change a bad reputation simply by loving yourself and showing that love to the world through your actions.
I can’t help this
Greene makes a point very clear in his book. There is no way around this particular power law. Striving to keep your reputation intact is essential if you want to be an empowered woman.