3 reasons why happiness is elusive
We talk about happiness every day of our lives in our elusive search for it. We see happiness as something external that we can pull out of nowhere when we want it, simply invoke it when we want to have a better day. Also, happiness seems to affect everyone else except us. If you are looking for happiness in the outside world or in material things, you are looking in the wrong place. True happiness cannot be found outside of us. Happiness is often denied us because we do not know how to begin the search.
Happiness has given us humans a lot of trouble for three main reasons. First, we don’t know how to define happiness to our liking. Everyone defines happiness in a different way. Simply put, many people don’t know what they want to make them happy, so their choices literally change according to their mood. They believe that happiness is something they work towards without realizing or accepting that happiness begins within us first. It is not an ideal destination to which we dedicate ourselves to life. In fact, it is with us every day, from this minute, and it shows in how we love and appreciate ourselves. How can we find happiness if we don’t know what it means to us?
How can we be truly happy if we are not clear about what makes us happy or we expect others to meet that need? Defining what would make you happy, be it your purpose in life, your wishes or visions, is the first step to being truly happy. It means that when those things appear you will recognize them instead of living ignorant of who you are and what motivates you.
Second, we always seek happiness with another person or with material things. We often believe that getting a new dress, a new car, a new apartment, a new yacht will do the trick: bring us that elusive happiness we have sought. But anything material gives us moments of temporary JOY. They do not bring long-term happiness. Material things help us to enjoy various aspects of life that money can buy, but they do not bring happiness where we live without self-love, without esteem, without love for others, and without care and compassion. We can have everything in the world at our fingertips, but if we lack self-love and satisfaction, especially when we feel like shit, we will continue to be unhappy.
Address the real issues
Stars like Britney Spears, Robbie Williams, both in rehab, and Whitney Houston with perennial Bobby Brown problems. They may be very wealthy people, but has their money helped them in their quest for self-esteem and love? If we are not happy with our nose, no amount of fiddling with our hands will fix the problem with that nose until we address the real problem. Many celebrities believe that fame and fortune will make them happy, but then they reach their desired rainbow only to find that they left their pot of gold far behind. Happiness begins from within, when we are truly happy with who we are and not seeking approval.. When we can accept our warts and flaws and realize that nothing detracts from the magnificent and amazing beings that we are.
Finally, happiness escapes us because we think we do not deserve it.
I once met a guy that I really liked, but we never took off because he kept saying I didn’t deserve such a wonderful relationship. He was thinking about the fears in his head instead of giving thanks for finding us. Naturally, her fears turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy because her negative thoughts began to sabotage potential meetings. Since he felt he did not deserve me, he immediately put up mental barriers to enjoying my company. Somehow, there was always a crisis when we set dates. Then he felt terrible about it, which increased his feelings of inadequacy and further reinforced his thoughts of not deserving it, in an endless vicious cycle. We cannot have the opposite of what we are thinking. We have to think about how we want it to happen to get the results we are looking for.
So start the process of defining happiness as it means to YOU. What would make you really happy for the next few years? NOT forever, because we evolve as people and our needs inevitably change over time, and not just for a moment. Then look inside yourself to see how you feel about yourself and how that happiness will feel with your overall satisfaction and esteem. So believe you deserve it cause we all deserve happiness. Some people are not simply sent here to suffer and others to be happy. We all face the same possibilities. Our results depend on the choices we personally make, which then decide the direction in which we will ultimately travel: either towards the pursuit of that elusive happiness or further away from it.