5 warning signs that you bought the wrong sofa

Sofas make people very happy, or you curse them every time you see them in your living room. Who knew that this 300-pound cue of wood, stuffing, springs, padding, batting and fabric could be the stuff dreams are made of, or the bane of your existence?

Here are 5 warning signs that you bought the wrong sofa.

#1) It doesn’t fit in the front door.

You laugh. But last week, we had to call a customer to tell him that the delivery truck carrying his furniture would be late. The reason was because they were held up at the previous delivery site with a couch that didn’t fit through the front door. Fortunately, he is not one of my clients! Do yourself a favor and measure all entry points to your nest, to include any 90-degree turns required on the way to the couch’s final destination. Please do this BEFORE placing your order. A designer will know how to do this. If you’re working alone and know in advance there might be a problem, here’s the million-dollar tip: Remember to ask if the legs can be removed to accommodate delivery.

#2) It’s screeching.

There is no mouse infestation here. The culprit is framework issues. Just like your old bones creak and break, the places where the pieces of wood meet, called the “joint,” are your sofa’s weakest points. The lower the cost and quality of your sofa, the lesser grade “joints” were likely used when it was manufactured. In all likelihood, that screeching is telling you that your wood is warping somewhere, and your frame is weakening as a result. Most likely it is a union.

#3) Seat cushions look torn and less than 3-5 years old.

All you and I are to a couch is “a burden.” That is not an insult. It’s a truism in the world of sofa engineering. The spring system inside your couch works 24/7 to “disperse your load,” and your poor cushions have the thankless task of cradling your dead weight. If your seat cushions are made of foam, they can compress over time. The cheaper the sofa, the lower the quality of the foam used in the cushions, so the sooner they will degrade. If your cushions are stuffed, you’ll need to pulp them to revitalize the loft. Me? I’m a fan of high-wear upholstery spring-wrapped seat cushions. Here, each seat cushion contains a group of springs, which are then wrapped in foam and Dacron®, feathers, or some combination of these to cover the internal springs. Spring mix cushions cost more up front, but will hold their custom shape exponentially longer than their springless cousins. Do you want a tip to prolong the life of all seat cushions? Flip seat cushions at least twice a year (Thanksgiving and Mother’s Day for the forgetful) or every 2-3 months for softer cushions.

#4) It’s awkward.

This is a tough question. My best advice is this: don’t shop on the couch when you’re tired and numb. Go when you feel really alert. And when you’re “trying out” a sofa, sit on it for a few minutes. Try to recline. Know that it will mold slightly with time and use, but no more than a 10-15% difference. If you feel hard and stiff in the showroom or in the store, move on. Also, beware of sofas that are too deep for you, as these will require pillows for proper support and comfort or your lower back may hurt.

#5) It’s plain, old, ugly, or outdated.

I can’t help you here. Instead of trying to liven up a lawn-ready couch by buying new items from the room around it, though, know when to throw in the towel. Either reupholster or change. Nothing looks worse in a room than a worn, tattered, or poorly dated item. After all, there is a collector’s item, and then there is the old, used, or dated. Keep trying to ignore a big, bad element like a sofa in a room’s overall scheme and you’ll be throwing good money after bad trying to get over the dead cow in the room.

Hopefully, these couch tips will help keep you sitting pretty and comfortable for 10+ years. That’s the minimum amount of time I’d like to see your ideal sofa look and feel great for you. Do you have a sofa that you love or hate? Send me a picture and tell me in 75 words or less why you love it or hate it. The best photo and essay answer of 2014 will win a prize.